Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I'm Losing All Faith In Higher Education

This posting is about College Athletics but you don’t have to like or understand sports to see that Higher Education in America is in deep trouble.

The problem is not Calculus or Algebra or Geometry. The problem is Arithmetic!

It all started to fall apart 1990 when Penn State joined the Big Ten Conference. Now I ask you, what is 10 + 1? Being sly, cunning and alert and knowing your Arithmetic, you very quickly said to yourself, “11”. I bet you did not even have to get out your calculator.

Certainly once Penn State joined the Big 10, the Big 10 became the Big 11. Actually, it did not become the Big 11. It stayed the Big 10.

Does that make sense? Does not 10 + 1 = 11? It used to be 11 but not in the Big 10/11 Conference. We know we can’t trust the politicians that come out of the Big 10/11 but, if they can’t add, how can we trust the Scientist, the Teachers, the Biologists and the Multi-Cultural Dancers that come out of the Big 10/11?

Years before the Big 10/11 Miscalculation the Pac 8 got two new teams and immediately changed their name to the Pac 10. Everything was in its place back then. All seemed right with the world.

All of a sudden Arithmetic Ignorance is spreading like wildfire. Due to changes that have taken place in the last few days this is what three of our athletic conferences look like…

  • Pac 10 has 12 teams
  • Big 10 has 12 teams
  • Big 12 has 10 teams

I can tell you for sure that, back at St. Anthony of Padua Grammar School, Sister Mary Grenyon would not have accepted these inaccurate names.
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I’m going to try and calm down now. At least I know that 2 + 2 = 4 … or do I?

I forgot about New Math which years ago put even this age-old calculation in doubt. New Math was concerned about not hurting our children’s self esteem by telling them they were wrong, if they gave any answer other than 4. New Math said something akin to this…
2 + 2 Is 4 Unless You Think It Is Something Else. If You Truly Think It Is Something Else, It Might Be Something Else, If It Were Something Else.

A university educator, who would have won a Nobel Prize if he had won one, was recently heard to say, “After all, students did learn something about Reading and Writing and Arithmetic (whatever that is) in Elementary and High Schools. Our university system of education cannot be held responsible for all those little thingies.”
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I sure hope Higher Education and/or New Math do not start messing with the Scoring System in football. I fear we are on the cusp of something like…

  • A touchdown is worth 6 points, unless the team that is behind feels really badly that they are behind. 
  • If the behind team’s anguish is so severe that their academic concentration in the coming week might be adversely affected, 7 to 12 more points may be allowed in order to at least tie the score.
  • More than 12 extra points will never be allowed for a single touchdown because the team that is ahead might experience depression after all the hard work that they expended to get ahead in the first place.
Would I kid u?